How to Immediately Curb Sibling Bickering

Dear Kid Whisperer,

Today my 6-year old was fighting with his brother. I told him to go in his room, but he would not go. I have attended one of your conferences, so I knew to delay the consequence. I felt like I was losing control by delaying, since he kept fighting with his brother and he refused to go to his room (he’s too big to carry in there). What consequences would I use for this? -Tonia, Eau Claire, Wisconsin

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How to Deal With Name-Calling

Dear Kid Whisperer,

How do I teach my 7-year-old kindness? I got very upset because he called his friend “fat”. I’m so disappointed and shocked! I don’t even think he cares he hurt his friend’s feelings. I’m constantly stressing about how we do not name call or use the word “fat” in our house. -Audrey, Cincinnati, Ohio

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How to Deal With Bathtime Issues

Dear Kid Whisperer,

My two-and-a-half year old drinks the bathwater. It grosses me out. I worry about it making her sick, but, honestly, I know for sure that it is making me sick. Should I make her stop, or just let it go? If she should stop, how do I make her stop? I heard myself giving her a health seminar about the possible effects of this…probably not helpful for a toddler. -Mary, New Carlisle, Ohio

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How to Keep Classroom Items From Becoming a Distraction

Dear Kid Whisperer,

How do you allow kids to use a fidget spinner in class as long as it doesn’t become a problem? If it does become a problem, how would you suggest letting them know it’s now a problem and they can’t use it? I have been studying Love and Logic™, so I know to use an enforceable statement: “I allow students to use fidgets as long as they don’t become a problem…” but I don’t know how to end the statement. -Ruby, San Diego, California

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How Principals Can Save Their Sanity

Dear Kid Whisperer,

I am a school principal. I came to one of your workshops recently. I wanted to ask you a question, but I didn’t want to ask it in front of the group and you were swarmed by people afterwards. I loved the skill you taught and I thought the overview you gave of the procedures and skills used to train kids to behave was awesome. This past year was the worst year of my professional life. I did nothing but put out “behavior fires” every day from 8-3. We have a system of giving kids tickets when they behave, but that only works on 70% of our students, at best. The other 30% are out of control and take 95% of my time and their teachers’ time. By the end of the day, half of them are in my office. How can I, as a principal, use these skills to support my teachers if my teachers don’t know these skills?  I don’t know if you usually do this, but please change my name and location if you publish this question. -Valborb, Neptune, Milky Way

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How to Curb Loud, Goofy Behavior From Middle School Students

Dear Kid Whisperer,

I attended your Kid Whisperer University last summer and it has really improved my life this year. I have recently, however, been getting frustrated with one of the teams of five students in a sixth-grade period for goofing around and being too loud. I used the interventions that you taught me, but it only worked with three of the students. The other two didn’t stop. So, just like you taught me, I delayed the consequence on those two. The problem is that now I don’t know what a logical consequence would be for loudly playing around for these two boys. Thoughts? -Missy, Cincinnati, Ohio

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How to Avoid Giving Attention to an Attention-Seeking Behavior

Dear Kid Whisperer,

I teach 3rd grade and I recently had a student purposely roll around in mud on the playground. I had no idea what to do and I let my frustration be known. I had to teach and I had a nine-year-old standing in front of me covered head to toe with mud, and that made me react in a way that may not have been most effective. What would you have done? -Becky, Evansville, Indiana

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