How to Deal With Temper Tantrums in the Car

Dear Kid Whisperer,

My husband and I read your column and have been using your strategies for maintaining a calm home environment with success with our seven-year old, who seems more prone to tantrums than his brothers and sisters. Removing him from the environment does work well, but what about when we want to create a tantrum-free environment in a moving car? -Kristen, Athens, Ohio

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How to Stop Accidentally Encouraging Temper Tantrums

Dear Kid Whisperer,

When my five-year-old daughter does not get her way and becomes angry, sometimes she escalates until she needs help calming down. We do this thing called “flowers and cake” where she smells the flowers then blows out the candles (getting her to take deep breaths). She seems to be escalating more and more lately, though.

Do we just stay the course with this? Will it eventually work itself out? Do we just need patience or are there other ideas that you have to deal with the escalating? -Tim, San Francisco, California

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How to Immediately Curb Sibling Bickering

Dear Kid Whisperer,

Today my 6-year old was fighting with his brother. I told him to go in his room, but he would not go. I have attended one of your conferences, so I knew to delay the consequence. I felt like I was losing control by delaying, since he kept fighting with his brother and he refused to go to his room (he’s too big to carry in there). What consequences would I use for this? -Tonia, Eau Claire, Wisconsin

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How to Deal With Name-Calling

Dear Kid Whisperer,

How do I teach my 7-year-old kindness? I got very upset because he called his friend “fat”. I’m so disappointed and shocked! I don’t even think he cares he hurt his friend’s feelings. I’m constantly stressing about how we do not name call or use the word “fat” in our house. -Audrey, Cincinnati, Ohio

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How to Deal With Bathtime Issues

Dear Kid Whisperer,

My two-and-a-half year old drinks the bathwater. It grosses me out. I worry about it making her sick, but, honestly, I know for sure that it is making me sick. Should I make her stop, or just let it go? If she should stop, how do I make her stop? I heard myself giving her a health seminar about the possible effects of this…probably not helpful for a toddler. -Mary, New Carlisle, Ohio

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How to Keep Classroom Items From Becoming a Distraction

Dear Kid Whisperer,

How do you allow kids to use a fidget spinner in class as long as it doesn’t become a problem? If it does become a problem, how would you suggest letting them know it’s now a problem and they can’t use it? I have been studying Love and Logic™, so I know to use an enforceable statement: “I allow students to use fidgets as long as they don’t become a problem…” but I don’t know how to end the statement. -Ruby, San Diego, California

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How Principals Can Save Their Sanity

Dear Kid Whisperer,

I am a school principal. I came to one of your workshops recently. I wanted to ask you a question, but I didn’t want to ask it in front of the group and you were swarmed by people afterwards. I loved the skill you taught and I thought the overview you gave of the procedures and skills used to train kids to behave was awesome. This past year was the worst year of my professional life. I did nothing but put out “behavior fires” every day from 8-3. We have a system of giving kids tickets when they behave, but that only works on 70% of our students, at best. The other 30% are out of control and take 95% of my time and their teachers’ time. By the end of the day, half of them are in my office. How can I, as a principal, use these skills to support my teachers if my teachers don’t know these skills?  I don’t know if you usually do this, but please change my name and location if you publish this question. -Valborb, Neptune, Milky Way

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