Advice Blog

How to Set Limits With Only One Rule

Dear Kid Whisperer,

I have a very challenging eight year old boy. My problems with him are too numerous to mention, but my question is about rules. I have rules posted on our refrigerator that I got from a parenting magazine. His teacher has rules that she says work for her and have worked for years. My son argues with me that rules are different and that’s it’s not fair. I know that I can’t have the teacher change her rules, so should I change mine? –   Patty, Dayton, Ohio

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How to Create a Solid Logical Consequence When There Doesn’t Seem to Be One

Dear Kid Whisperer,

I am a fifth grade teacher and the mother of two teenage sons.  I understand the difference between punishment and logical consequences and I try to always use logical consequences. My problem is that I sometimes have a hard time coming up with a logical consequence that fits the infraction. Any thoughts? -Allie Dayton, Ohio

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How to Teach Kids to be Responsible For Their Own Work

Dear Kid Whisperer,

I am a first year teacher teaching fifth grade language arts and social studies and I have a problem. There is no set policy at my school about how to handle late homework. I have been just accepting it and not counting off, but I feel like that isn’t the best thing to do. My students are terrible about turning in their work. I feel like it may be my fault. Help.   -Chelsey, Detroit

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Are Group Punishments OK? How About Group Consequences?

Dear Kid Whisperer,

I am the parent of a fifth grade student. His teacher and I are having a disagreement and I was wondering what you thought on the matter. One method that she uses to control her class is to punish the entire class if one or two kids act out. For instance, two kids apparently were arguing with her and giving her a hard time, so she made everyone put their heads down and then kept everyone in from recess. I told her that my son should not have to suffer because other kids are messing around. What do you think? -Yvette, Cincinnati, Ohio

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How to Get Kids to Solve Their Own Problems

Dear Kid Whisperer,
I am the mother of four kids: two boys and two girls. I don’t know what is going on, but for the last month or so, they have been testing my patience by becoming really helpless and needy. Three of the four have become less mature this summer. They can’t do anything for themselves. I am tired of doing things for them. If I refuse, they whine and I end up doing whatever it is for them. My boys keep wanting me to settle their constant disagreements. I reached my limit last night when my eight year old suddenly lost the ability to wash her own hair. I need help. -Molly S.

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How to Start Your Love and Logic(R) Year

Dear Kid Whisperer,

Think back to when you were a first grade teacher……what are your best Love and Logic tips when beginning the school year with this age group? Thanks! -Natalie

Hi Natalie. Thanks for the timely question. As you know, this is a crazy time of year for teachers, especially for those of us who are switching classrooms and grade levels! I will now have to think waaaaay back to when I was a first grade teacher- all of three months ago. 🙂

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How to Handle Sibling Argument

Dear Kid Whisperer,
What skills do you have to help with the issue of sibling arguing ?!? I have this issue and all the parents I know have this issue, but no advice is given! So I am looking for your advice! Thanks!
-Kelley

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Yeah but…

The following was posted on Facebook as a response to my post “How to Neutralize Arguing”. It eloquently expresses the feelings that many parents have when reading parenting advice in column and website form. The post’s author has graciously allowed me to reproduce her post here. It also appears as a comment for the aforementioned post.

The problem for me with an article like that is that it makes me feel like a failure when it doesn’t work for me. I have used these steps for the past 4 years or so, and they actually created more of a brat problem.

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