How to Respond to a Child’s Threats

What do I do when my 4-year-old threatens to do something? Yesterday, we were painting and she took a small jar of oil paint, tipped it so that it was about to spill all over the floor, looked at me, and smiled. I told her that she better not spill the paint, and that she would be in a lot of trouble if she spilled the paint. I counted to three. As I started to say “three”, she poured it all over the floor. She does this kind of thing all the time. I’ve tried calmly telling her how that hurts my feelings. I’ve tried yelling, and I’ve tried spanking. Nothing works. What’s left? — Brianna, Miamisburg, Ohio

How to Get a Toddler to Stop Running Away from You

Dear Kid Whisperer,

What do I do when my 3 year old runs away from me? I don’t want to try to chase after her and I don’t want to resort to man-handling my daughter. -Ellen, San Juan, Puerto Rico

How to Instill Grit in Your Kid

Dear Kid Whisperer,

How to Be a Parent and Not a Personal Assistant

Dear Kid Whisperer,

My 6-year-old pretends to be helpless and it’s driving me crazy. He wasn’t like this six months ago. I don’t know what happened. He won’t put his own clothes on his body. He won’t serve himself at dinner. Last night, he didn’t just refuse to serve himself, he refused to feed himself. He literally wanted me to feed him. I did, because I didn’t know what else to do, but I obviously don’t want to be spoon feeding a first-grader, so I am asking you what to do now. Bonnie, Cleveland, Ohio

How to Calmly and Firmly Say “NO”

Dear Kid Whisperer,

My 10-year-old takes a lot of my time and energy in so many ways. The most annoying and embarrassing way is that he won’t take “no” for an answer. He asks for explanations about why he has to do things, why he can’t do things, why he can’t have things, etc. Lately I have found myself avoiding saying “no” to him so I don’t have to deal his responses to not getting what he wants. I know that this is a bad thing to do, but I don’t know what else to do. — Steven, Sydney, Australia

How to Train Your Kid to Appreciate What He Has, and Work for What He Wants

Dear Kid Whisperer,

Most of my 11 year old son’s friends have more money than we do. I don’t want him to feel badly about this, so I make sure that he has everything that he wants, which is pretty much everything that his friends have. Lately, it’s been hard to “keep up with the Joneses.” With Christmas coming up, I am getting stressed out. I feel like I am failing him as a parent. I can’t afford this anymore. What do I do? –Maggie, Oak Park, Illinois

How to Get Your Kid to Leave with You Immediately, Every Time

Dear Kid Whisperer,

I am having a problem with my four year old. In the last few months, he has started to refuse to leave the daycare when I come to pick him up. He never did this before. I am concerned that this behavior might be due to some problems that his father and I have been having. I’m not sure. No matter what I say, I can’t convince him to leave with me unless I bribe him, which I don’t want to do. How do I get him to leave with me without refusal and without a temper tantrum? –Morgan, Grosse Point, Michigan

How to Teach Your Kid to be Nice

Dear Kid Whisperer,

My kid’s consequence for not treating his brother lovingly is that he is not allowed to play outside with his friends the next day. In my frustration, I fear I may have given too harsh of a consequence. I am thinking of taking the consequence back, but I don’t want to teach that you can get out of consequences. I’d love your thoughts. -Kelsey, Athens, Ohio

How to Get Your Kid to Clean Up After Herself without Anger or Warnings

Dear Kid Whisperer,

My daughter is four. She does a lot of sensory play activities. She used to be OK at cleaning up after herself, but she’s been really messy lately. I keep reminding and warning her to clean up, which is not helping. I don’t want to take these fun and educational materials away from her, but I want her pick up after herself. Do you have any ideas? -Dorothy, Boise, Idaho

How to Shift Your Parenting Paradigm in Order to Achieve Balance in Your Life

Dear Kid Whisperer,

My son is nine. He plays baseball and hockey. He also takes guitar lessons. Now he wants to play soccer next season. He also is in plays. His father is usually out of town. I want my child to be able to do everything he wants to do, but I am so stressed from running him from place to place, cleaning and packing his hockey equipment, etc., and I am trying to figure out how I can do all of these things (and pay for them) so that he doesn’t have to go without these activities. Please help. – Janine, Columbus, Ohio