Kid Whisperer Nation Tip for Parents #27
ALLOW THEM TO FAIL
Allow your kids to fail academically when they are young. No one will ever see or care about your kid’s 3rd grade second quarter science grade. Allow them to experiment with laziness and irresponsibility early so they can feel the sting of failure early, so that when it counts (when colleges can see their high school grades), they know how to succeed.
Kid Whisperer Nation Tip for Parents #28
PUT THE FORGOTTEN HOMEWORK DOWN
When your kid forgets their homework at home, leave it alone. Don’t deliver it to your kid. Will your kid’s grade be affected? Yep. Is that good? Absolutely. Will your kid learn something about the world and the level of responsibility necessary to be successful in it? You bet.
What’s more important: to learn that in order to be successful, you must be responsible, or to earn a point in your homework grade for eighth grade math?
Stop saving your kids from their own irresponsibility, and they will become more responsible.
Kid Whisperer Nation Tip for Parents #29
ALLOW YOUR KIDS TO LIVE A STORY
As human beings, we are drawn to stories. A story has a problem or, more often, problems that must be overcome. If it doesn’t have a compelling problem, a story isn’t very interesting.
Would Star Wars be compelling if it were about Luke Skywalker wandering listlessly around Tatooine while The Empire ravaged the galaxy?
Would anyone want to watch Raiders of the Lost Ark if it was about how Indiana Jones’s parents paid for him to travel through South America in order to “find himself” as the Nazis took control of the ark of the covenant?
Is your kid (or anyone else for that matter) going to see his life as compelling if it is carefully curated by his parents?
Life can be a fantastic adventure and a compelling story if it has real challenges, failures, and hardships to overcome. But, for this to be true, kids have to be allowed to have challenges, failures, and hardships!
Without them, kids have less fun, and they will be weaker than they would be if they were allowed to struggle: to become strong enough to take on more struggles and challenges, so by the end of their lives they will have amazing stories worth telling.
Are your kids living a story?
Kid Whisperer Nation Tip for Parents #30
WHATEVER YOU WANT TO DO IS FINE
These are magic words that can follow a properly given choice to your kid(s). After you have given two choices, either of which you are OK with, you can add these words, which supercharge a kid’s control need being fulfilled:
You can clear the table now, or any time before we watch the movie. Whatever you want to do is fine.
Kid Whisperer Nation Tip for Parents #31
DON’T BE A SCHMUCK
Look parents, if it feels like you are being played by your kids, or if you feel like your kids don’t respect you, or you feel like your rules aren’t really rules because you aren’t enforcing them, go with that feeling. We live in a ridiculous culture, as far as discipline is concerned, and both parents and kids (not t
o mention teachers) are paying the price.
Take care of yourself first and don’t allow your kids to use behaviors that make you dislike them. Do the work now to set limits and hold your kids accountable. Their short-term unhappiness about being held accountable is not your concern.