Tip for Parents #6
YOU ARE NOT IN CHARGE OF YOUR KIDS’ HAPPINESS
They are. It’s your job to make sure they have their needs met (food, water, shelter, warmth, love). It is their job to strive to get what they want. This striving can make them happy. If you spend your time gifting things to your kids, you strip them of the ability to feel the fantastic feeling of striving and accomplishing. Ironically, by trying to gift them things to make our kids happy, we take away their opportunity for happiness!
Tip for Parents #7
DO NOT CONFUSE UNCONDITIONAL LOVE WITH UNCONDITIONAL POSITIVE REGARD
So many parents think that loving your kids unconditionally means accepting everything they do as being OK. This will usually lead to kids becoming adults who believe that they are entitled to unconditional positive regard from everyone they meet. Of course, this will end poorly. These adults will be constantly shocked and disappointed that their obnoxious behaviors are not tolerated or appreciated by peers, teachers, and bosses.
Loving your kids in a healthy way means setting limits and not allowing negative behaviors to continue.
TIP FOR PARENTS #8
ENJOY YOUR KIDS WHEN ALL IS WELL
It is so easy for life to overtake us. When we are working hard in the home or at a workplace, life can seem overwhelming. If we are dealing with negative behaviors from our kids, it seems to be even tougher. Even though we may be tired, having fun with your kid will improve your life. It will also encourage positive behaviors since kids will notice that when their behaviors are positive, parents are more likely to be fun and playful!
TIP FOR PARENTS #9
MODEL NOT KNOWING THINGS
This one is so very important for me since my daughter is a know-it-all like her father.
Saying “I have no idea, but I may know how to find the answer!” models learning and shows that it is OK not to know things; that learning is more important than knowing.
Tip for Parents #10
PANIC ISN’T ALWAYS AN OVERREACTION
When kids exhibit extremely negative behaviors like hitting, biting, or stealing, being extremely concerned- even panicky -is a much more healthy response than to think, “It’s just a phase!” and do nothing. Thinking, “This must stop as soon as possible” is the first step to making the behavior non-functional.