TIP FOR PARENTS #86
THE “NICEST” ANSWER IS USUALLY THE WRONG ONE
Thinking that if your child is displeased, you must please them, is a pretty terrible idea 99% percent of the time. That’s not your job, and trying to please your kid will strip your kids of the ability to please themselves.
If your kid saunters into the room and announces that she is in a bad mood and you fall all over yourself to see how you can help, that’s wrong and bad. Don’t do that. You’re not helping. You’re hurting. Stop it. Saying, “Oh, no. I hope you feel better, and I wish you luck” is the right thing to do. It tells your kid, with your empathy and inaction, that you love them and that their mood is their problem.*
TIP FOR PARENTS # 87
ALLOW YOUR KIDS TO GET HURT
You should do what is necessary to protect your kids from serious or permanent injury. All other protection is a bad idea. It’s a bad idea because being overly protective of kids may stop them from getting bumps and bruises now, but those bumps and bruises are the very things that teach your kids to be careful next time, making them more safe in the future.
TIP FOR PARENTS #88
ACKNOWLEDGING THAT WE LIVE IN A RIDICULOUS CULTURE IS THE FIRST STEP TO IGNORING IT
In the United States in 2021, it’s a pretty good rule of thumb to ignore what most other parents are doing. Allowing social media for tweens? Nope. Repeatedly solving kids’ problems for them when they are perfectly capable of doing so themselves? Oh, no. Hours of screen time per day? Absolutely not.
It’s hard to parent counter to our culture, but let’s do it anyway.
TIP FOR PARENTS #89
LET IT GO
Don’t try to fit into our modern paradigm of parenting. It’s not designed to be helpful or realistic, and it’s not designed to help your kids to become resilient, positive, helpful people.
TIP FOR PARENTS #90
GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK
It’s an important and simple point that sometimes can seem obvious, but it may be worth being reminded of the fact that sometimes we just need to stop and consider: You are doing your best, and that’s all you can do. It’s all anyone can do. It may help, at least a little bit, to keep this in mind.