Kid Whisperer Nation Tip for Parents #96
ENGAGE WITH YOUR KIDS IN WAYS THAT YOU ENJOY
(AND AVOID THE OTHER WAYS)
An important skill for avoiding engaging with kids in unpleasant ways is to avoid getting into arguments with them. First, use your Calm Signal. Mine is, “Oh, man.” Next tell them how often you argue with this simple phrase: “I don’t argue.” Then, when the attempt at an argument continues, ask a question about the statement you just made: “…and what did I say?”
Kid Whisperer Nation Tip for Parents #97
STATE FACTS AND ALLOW YOUR KIDS TO SOLVE THE LITTLE PROBLEMS THAT THEY CAUSE
Kids know what they’re supposed to do 99% of the time. Let them act upon that knowledge.
Instead of “Pick up your toys from the living room!” You can experiment by doing a simple statement of fact:
“Oh. Your toys are still on the floor.”
…and walking away.
Simply stating a fact assumes intelligence.
Walking away without giving any direction assumes cooperation.
Not trying to “make” your kid do something can help your relationship and save your sanity.
Kid Whisperer Nation Tip for Parents #98
DON’T BE AFRAID TO PACK IT IN
Sometimes you are just done. It may be 99% your kid driving you crazy and 1% the rest of life making you nuts, or it might be the opposite, but sometimes it is necessary for you to remove kid stimuli from your life. You can do this by calmly having the kid stimuli stay in the kid room(s) for the rest of the day or your kids just staying away from you, or you staying away from them. This will allow you to pull yourself together and live to fight another day.
Kid Whisperer Nation Tip for Parents #99
PLAN FOR QUALITY “ME” TIME
Put yourself first. Have designated times of the day that are just for you to recharge and reflect. I know everyone says this, so here’s something that not everyone says: Make sure this time is quality time, and plan accordingly.
While an hour of watching TV at the end of your day is great and should probably happen sometimes, consider whether waking up an hour early to work out and meditate might give you more bang for your wellness buck.
Kid Whisperer Nation Tip for Parents #100
WHEN YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO, TELL YOUR KIDS THAT YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Don’t try to have all the answers. You don’t have them, so why try to pretend that you do? When your kid does something that leaves you with no thoughts besides “I cannot believe this is my life, and what do I do now?” just let your kid know that you are beside yourself with seemingly hopeless confusion, and that you will have to think about this and get back to them later.
Because what else are you going to do about it anyway? If you are in the midst of hopeless confusion, by definition, you can’t think of what to do, so why frustrate yourself by trying to figure it out?